(no subject)

[madwomanwithabox]

IN MEMORIAM
Waynette Maria McKnight Carlie
July 15, 1950 - December 24, 1995

So this year, it's Black Sunday. It changes every year, but the day is always the same. It's the one part of the year that I dread, and it's the only reason that the holidays have been a living nightmare since I was a kid.

Eleven years ago today, I lost my best friend. And I know it's not the case for some of you...it's not the case for a lot of people in what MIGHT be considered normal families, but my best friend was my mom.

Her name was Waynette, and she was 45 years old when brain cancer killed her on Christmas Eve in 1995. I was thirteen years old at the time.

I could go on and on and sing her praises, and talk about her for ages, but that'd get me all emotional...and even though I still shed my fair share for her, tears are the last thing she'd want.

Funny thing in my family...even Mom was luckier than I was, because she never lost her mother. My grandmother didn't pass on until a few months after Mom did. And she had issues with her mother...a lot of it was fairly petty. I don't think she ever really appreciated what she had.

My mom was everything to me...best friend, mentor, sister I never had. And I know that not everyone has that...but if you still have your mother, or someone who's just as close to you...stop for a second today and take a second to think about this:

You're never going to get a better gift for Christmas than the ability to be with your mother, or whoever holds that special place in your heart. To tell her you love her, what she means to you...to hear her voice, to be near her...to hold her. To be with her.

Normally I'd still have a small piece of that...after Mom died, my cat Ramona became that person to me...the surrogate mother I needed when Mom was gone. For the last ten years, she was the shoulder I cried on, she was the one who listened to me, who looked after me when no one else was there to do it.

She's not here this year...and so this Christmas, I'm alone as I mourn the death of two mothers instead of one.

I'm not trying to bum anyone out...but I want everyone who has what I don't to appreciate just what a good thing they got going.

Help me remember my mother today...don't ever take *yours* for granted. Find your mom and tell her how much you care...hug her if you can.

Because I'd give back every gift I'm gonna receive tomorrow...I'd sell my soul just to be able to just *talk* to my mom one more time.

I don't usually say it and mean it...but this time I do.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

And Merry Christmas, Mom. I love you.

Comments

[storybox.livejournal.com]

Im so sorry.
I know there's nothing I could say to make you feel better but I lost my best friend to brain cancer too, and if anything, I know how it feels to lose someone like that... just know im here for anything you need.
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[prettybutt.livejournal.com]

i can't even imagine how difficult this time of year is for you sweetie. *hugs I'll be sure to give everyone an extra hug and kiss tonight ♥

[raynala.livejournal.com]

*hugs* This is a beautiful tribute, sweetheart, and it really puts things in perspective for me.

Try to have a Merry Christmas, too, hun.

[ramdonomo.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

My heart just breaks for you every year at this time, but especially this year when I have a 13-year-old of my own. I wish I could just take your 13-year-old self in my arms and rock her and cuddle her and try to make the world a better place. Your mom was only one year older than I am now. You already know that I lost my dad at Christmastime, too; the ninth anniversary of his death was 6 days ago. So, though I wouldn't dream of saying that I know how you feel, because you were SO young when you lost your mom, it does make me feel a lot of empathy for you, having to go through something like that at the holidays. Just know that I'm thinking about you. *hugs*

And I hope you can still have a peaceful and happy Christmas. *hugs, hugs, and more hugs*